NEIL DIAMOND "Velvet Gloves And Spit"

As promised, Neil!

OK, I must've done something nice last year because for Christmas 2005, my girlfriend (TPC) got me a brand new turntable. It's probably why I'm blabbering on and becoming a blogger actually. The day I opened it, her mother was in town to celebrate the holidays. We went to Les Halles for dinner and came back to the house to unwind, drink wine, and listen to albums. I asked her mother to suggest some artists as I'm sure I had something to her liking. She said she was an Edith Piaf fan, surprising, but OK, I found a hits collection and we played her until we couldn't anymore (about 4 songs).

I'm not sure who suggested Neil Diamond, but everyone was amenable. The A-side opens with the upbeat, hand-clap riddled "Two-Bit Manchild", so we're off to a good start. We're on autopilot, cruisin' through a bottle of Uva Di Troia and some mediocre album filler when all hell breaks loose. What was funny was TPC's mother wasn't fazed at all by track four. I couldn't stop laughing. "The Pot Smoker's Song" opens with the chorus "Pot, pot, gimme some pot, forget what you are, you can be what you're not" with a buoyant and celebratory beat that caught us all off guard. The song then spirals into this weird PSA with actors reading the most hilarious accounts of their drug addictions ("My Rabbi put too much pressure on me"). Awesome! Really, if you dig your weed or you don't, this is classic.

Certainly this little novelty isn't going to convince any Neil haters out there to switch sides. Pot Smoker's Song was a huge misstep, but a very necessary one, methinks. I kind of like that about Neil, for every Tap Root Manuscript he has a Jazz Singer. As a bonus, though, I've included one of the prettiest Neil Diamond songs and one that will make you think differently about him, for sure. "And The Grass Won't Pay No Mind" isn't on Velvet Gloves And Spit, it appeared on the Sweet Caroline collection, but it's soaring strings and soulful, yes, soulful crooning get me every time. I bought Velvet Gloves And Spit from an old lady's tag sale in Yonkers, I think I got a good chunk of the Les Baxter and Herb Alpert catalogues that day too. Play it loud!

TWO-BIT MANCHILD
THE POT SMOKER'S SONG
AND THE GRASS WON'T PAY NO MIND